The Coming Out Process

For TGEY, the coming out process is a significantly personal experience that is frequently accompanied by both optimism and uncertainty.

Parents and caregivers also undergo a coming out process that may vary depending on your culture, religion, and social supports. Your response as a parent or caregiver has the power to

shape your loved one's experience in profound ways.

Empathy and Understanding

Manage Your Own Emotions

Educate Yourself

Give your child full attention when they share about their identity.

Create a safe, judgment-free space

by listening, validating their feelings, and fostering open communication. Stay curious, not defensive, when asking questions or receiving feedback. Unconditional love and a willingness to learn build trust and strengthen your bond. Check in regularly without being intrusive.

Affirm their Identity

It's natural to need time to process. As much as it is a journey for them, it also a journey for you. Take time to deal with you emotions without placing stress on your child. Remember to speak to yourself with similar kindness and encouragement as if you were providing guidance to a friend in a similar situation. Prioritize your well-being through rest, nutrition, exercise, and activities you enjoy.

Every coming out journey is unique, including yours. As you learn about your child's identity, you may need to confront personal biases or misunderstandings. Make the effort

to educate yourself on gender identity, gender expression, and the challenges TGEY often encounter. This helps ease your child's emotional burden. You don't have to understand everyone right away, demonstrate an openness to learning.

Be Patient and Allow Space

Provide Reassurance

Let them know that they are seen by using their chosen name and pronouns even if it takes practice and time to adjust. Acknowledge if there is an oversight on your part and commit to doing better.

Recognize that coming out is a journey rather than an isolated incident. Your child might not have all the answers at first because they are still figuring out who they are. Allow them the time and space they need to share and disclose as they feel comfortable.

Advocate for Them

Face Challenges Together

Assure your child that they can always turn to you for support, regardless of their uncertainties, anxieties, or difficulties. Inform them that you are dedicated to their safety, even if this necessitates making tough choices or speaking out against prejudice in different settings.

Stay Engaged

You and your child may face pushback or judgment from family, friends, or cultural and religious communities. Encourage candid, age-appropriate conversations at home with family members and seek supportive allies in your community such as cultural institutions or inclusive religious leaders. Approach challenges with kindness, patience, and understanding for both yourself and your child.

It can be extremely stressful to worry about bullying, discrimination, or restrictive regulations that specifically target TGEY. Build your child's resilience and confidence by teaching them self-advocacy techniques. Learn about the resources available to you for advocating on behalf of your child and your legal rights.