Discovery & Initial Responses:​​​

• Acknowledge resistance, confusion, or other emerging emotions.

• Preoccupation with your child's safety, societal criticism or your child's future.

• Loss of expectation and hope based on preconceived notions of their child's gender and future.

• Grief associated with ambiguous loss as parents and caregivers mourn what they envisioned for their child's life. 

• Unbeknownst to them, parents and caregivers may have internalized transphobia and biases. 

Adapting, Coping Strategies & Integrating Change:

• Building familiarity with transgender and gender expansive youth's needs and aspirations is the landmark of effective communication.

• Place less emphasis on why your child is transgender or gender expansive and more on what they need to grow up safe and healthy.

• Engage in a wardrobe cleanse with your youth where you support them in identifying clothing they will toss and keep.

• Buying them clothes they are most comfortable wearing.

• Seek resources including reading books, articles, and/or join a support group.

• Talk to other families with similar journeys that can normalize and affirm your own experience.

Gratitude & Hope:

• Create affirming rituals and engage in gestures that celebrate your loved one for who they are, including correct use of names and pronouns.  

• ​Honor your child's gender expression including their clothing and hairstyle. 

• Celebrate your loved ones milestones including their coming out and  medical or social transitions.

• ​Affirming family inclusion as your child is a valuable and integral part of the family, irregardless of their gender identity.

• Expressing joy and gratitude as you celebrate your child for living authentically.

• Encourage them to pursue their passions and reassuring them they have a bright future ahead.