Guilt

Parents can experience guilt for:

• Contributing to their child questioning their gender identity

• Not recognizing their child's gender identity earlier

• Misgendering their child or using their child's dead/birth name

• Contributing to their child's distress by following societal norms or having expectations that didn't align with their child's authentic self

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How to Process Guilt:

• Acknowledge errors and look at them as opportunities for growth.

• Focus on learning rather than perfection

• Apologize when misusing pronouns or using their dead/birth name and allow for your child to see your commitment to growth

• Acknowledge that prior behaviors were influenced by social conditioning and lack of knowledge, followed by using guilt as an inspiration to moving forward​

• Recognize that gender identity is not caused by parenting style, mistakes, or lack of role modeling

Grief

​​Parents can experience grief for:

• The loss of the child they birthed as they are losing the future they envisioned for their child

• Shifts in family dynamics or relationships with extended family (e.g., aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins) who may not understand

• Loss of societal expectations linked to gender (e.g., weddings, grandchildren, career paths)

• Fear of their child facing discrimination, harm or threat to safety

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How to Process Grief:

• Acknowledge the emotions and that grieving change stems from a place of love

• Recognize that your expectations are autonomous from your child's authentic path and that their journey will lead to new and meaningful experiences

• Identify community support amongst other parents & caregivers who have similar experiences to mitigate feelings of isolation

Gratitude

Parents express gratitude for:

• Their child's bravery in sharing their authentic self

• Being entrusted with their child's transition and being part of their  journey

• The opportunity to learn, grow, and deepen their relationship with their child

• The person their child has grown into

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How to Cultivate Gratitude:

• ​Celebrate small wins, including your child's joy when affirmed in their identity

• Turn your attention from the loss to new opportunities that arise from getting to know your child better

• Express gratitude for your child's patience and trust as the family navigates the transition together